Wine Please!

I had intended to list a few items about myself; such as political views, irritants, and possible misconceptions.  I deleted my list because it doesn’t matter.  I just don’t have the desire to share all of my feelings/thoughts/beliefs with everyone anymore.  Privacy, like silence, is golden.  If you are really curious about my thoughts on something, you can ask.  You might be surprised that I don’t agree with all of you.  But that is alright.  Differences make us interesting.  Respect and appreciation of those differences is what makes us grow. Personal is personal and although I Facebook and blog and Twitter occasionally, I still like to keep a little privacy and anonymity.  Thank you very much.

Instead….

My daughter smiles in her sleep, like most infants do.  It is when they smile first.  It is when their smile is the sweetest and most innocent.  When holding this dear sweet child, and she smiles up at me, but not really at me because her eyes are closed and she doesn’t know I am looking at her, I melt.

Then I wonder.  Do we still smile in our sleep?  If not, when do we lose that innocence?  That pure blissful sleep where we aren’t troubled and all we can do it smile with our dreams?

Is she smiling because she knows I am there holding her and lightly kissing the top of her head, or is it because she is dreaming of her Daddy, or of the nice bowl of cereal that is in her future?  Or maybe the thought of her footed pajamas is turning up the corners of her mouth.  Regardless, she smiles, and I am reduced to a puddle.

With our daughter came a renewed sense to be the best person that I know how to be.  For her.  For me.  For us.  No regrets going forward.  No remorse about what is past because it is just that….past.  Dwelling on things allows them to consume you, and I only want to be consumed with love for my family.  Joy in them and our accomplishments.  I want to laugh with her.  Cry with her.  And probably inwardly grin while she cries (just as my momma did with me) because she will be adorable always.  Our little piece of the world will be as open, welcoming, accepting, and joyous as we can make it, with as little stress and hurt as possible.  Then maybe she will always be able to smile in her sleep.